Journey Of A Dreamer



A review…and I’m only 29!

Dear Felicity,

God knows how long it’s been. I’ve been looking back at a few posts in the past and I see a pattern. I’m still rather down and drawn out, corporate deadlines have got me running in circles because I’m still incompetent and Youth is still transient.
It’s like I’m stuck in a rut at work with the same old projects. Even new projects that excited me at first seem to bore me after a while (except for the video project but that’s because I like video). I’m starting to wonder if I’m on the right track career-wise! I’m not much of a corporate animal so this is becoming a bit silly for me.

I’m finding out as well that I’m still unorganized and I seem to still prefer lazing around with computer games rather than doing something… other than helping people. The only thing that gives me joy is helping others and seeing fruits in their lives.  Unfortunately, there has been no full-time call and frankly, I can’t afford to live off fresh air and sunshine.

Youth is amazing in the sense that we can all get together to do projects and bless the church and community. Otherwise…. not much spiritual input. I guess I need to grow even more to be able to do that. Youth service seems routine and I have people popping in and out every week with some faithfuls but I wonder… is there more to this? Is there a way I can make the Youth programme so inspiring and so amazing that people keep coming to get their lives changed?…. I don’t know the answer right now but God, I’m getting tired.
I think the reason why almost every other post is so emo is because this is one of the few places I can be emo. I need to seem like I have it altogether everywhere else when I’m still immature, lazy and a master procrastinator. I don’t KNOW what to do. I can’t keep disappointing everyone else. I can’t keep alterring programmes at the last minute. I’m going nuts. All I’m saying is… God, help!!!!!

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Comments

  1. * John Ling says:

    I really like how you start most of your posts with ‘Dear Felicity’. It’s so evocative and personal and intriguing. Do keep it up! =)

    | Reply Posted 6 years, 3 months ago
    • Thanks, John. Felicity is actually what I hope to call my future daughter… but until then… 😀

      | Reply Posted 6 years, 2 months ago


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